Bedside Manner (The Midas Touch Book 1) Page 2
Eventually her nightly drugs kicked in, and Joanna’s thoughts slowed. Sleep took over, but the minute the sun came up, she reached for her laptop, and typed Nathan Midas’s full name into her search bar. Researcher that she was, Joanna was surprised she’d never tried to google him before. Not that she was expecting to find any evidence of his apparent player status, but she was inexplicably desperate for any and all information about the boy genius doctor.
Sure enough, there was an article about him from a prominent medical journal, praising his work in the pulmonary field. Apparently he had gotten interested in the subject at a very early age, after his mother died of pleurisy when he was just twelve years old, though he had long suspected that she may have been misdiagnosed. The mystery of his mother’s death spurred him to pursue medicine. He’d been the same age when his mother died as Joanna was when her mother did. She kept reading. He did in fact, graduate high school early, and was out of medical school by the age of twenty-two. He was an expert in his field, and Joanna felt very lucky to have his attention on her. If she had gotten any other doctor, they may not have diagnosed her properly. HPS was legendarily difficult to detect, and usually took years to identify. He’d seen her for only a few minutes on that stretcher before he knew he wanted to run the tests.
“Are you looking into my credentials?” Nathan’s voice came from over her shoulder and Joanna almost had a heart attack. She slammed her laptop shut, and turned to face him, sure that her cheeks were bright red.
“No, I, I-”
“It’s okay, plenty of people doubt my ability thanks to this old baby face,” he said, pinching his own cheeks. “Or young baby face, I should say. Regardless, I promise you, my medical degree is real, and you can trust me.”
He’d gotten completely the wrong idea about why she was looking him up, but it was better he thought that than know the truth.
“My mother died too, when I was twelve,” she blurted out, before realizing what a faux pas she’d just made. “I mean, I just noticed, it said that in the article. I don’t mean to, sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.” She was so used to other people getting awkward around her whenever she mentioned that her mother had died, and now she was doing the exact same thing to Nathan.
“That’s okay. I-I’m sorry to hear about your mother. I guess we have something in common then,” he said.
“Yeah, only I didn’t go on to graduate high school early to dedicate myself to helping others. Honestly I just cried a lot and yelled at my dad, who didn’t deserve it at all,” Joanna said laughing. Nathan laughed back, and it really seemed to be a genuine laugh, not one generously faked out of sympathy. He sat down beside her, and Joanna thought she might stop breathing again.
“At least you had a dad to yell at. My dad was… anyway, that’s a story for another time I think. I noticed that you have a Modest Ash sticker on your day planner. Do you listen to them a lot?”
Joanna looked over at her now useless day planner. Since getting into the hospital she’d mostly been using it as a diary, and she made a mental note to hide it better when she was sleeping.
“Yeah, I went to their show when they were in town last year. I love them,” Joanna admitted, somewhat bashfully. Not that Modest Ash was a band to be embarrassed about, but she knew a lot of people found them to be a bit dense and overly trippy.
“I was there too! I couldn’t get over their last album. Listen, if you liked them, you really have to listen to this playlist I made, there’s a lot of similar stuff on there. Do you have Spotify? You can follow me and then listen to it directly.”
Joanna was speechless for a second, honestly honored that he was speaking to her like a real friend and not just a patient, before remembering the words of her nurses last night. Dr. Nathan was probably just really good at making all the girls feel special. Still, she would follow him on Spotify, and listen to the music later.
“All right, well I should get going and see my other patients. Always nice seeing you Jo!” he said, getting up quickly and walking out of the door. Before Joanna could even start turning over their conversation in her head, he came right back into the room looking flustered. “Sorry, completely forgot the whole reason I was here in the first place!” He picked up her chart, looking at it quickly. Joanna’s eyesight wasn’t the best, but she could have sworn he was blushing. “Uh, yeah, how are you feeling? Tired? How are your pain levels?”
He continued the rest of the visit with optimum levels of professionalism, and honestly, Joanna was a little disappointed. Still, she’d gotten to witness a chink in his armour, and couldn’t help but think that he found something about her presence disarming.
But he hooked up with Sasha last night, she thought, remembering the nurses’ words. Whoever Sasha was. Swiping away from his playlist, she set to work seeing if she could find his instagram profile. Shockingly, it was very easy to find, but it was private, and she didn’t dare request to follow. They were almost friends, but not that close. Besides, it would be literally illegal for him to form an inappropriate relationship with one of his patients, so she didn’t want to push her luck.
It didn’t stop her from listening to his playlist as she fell asleep however, and her dreams took it even further. In the strange space between wakefulness and sleep, she imagined running into him three years or so in the future. She was the picture of health, and he looked exactly as he did now, broad shoulders, roguishly handsome tall stature.
They ran into each other at a coffee shop, he told her she looked beautiful, she said thanks, he confessed he’d always had a crush on her, they went to dinner, they went back to his place...
“I’ve been thinking about this moment for years, but I thought it would never happen,” he said, whispering into her ear and kissing her neck.
“Me too,” she moaned, quivering as he explored her body with his touch, ripping off his own shirt and delicately unbuttoning hers.
“You are so beautiful. Skin so soft...” His words were muffled as his lips moved over her nipple.
* * *
“Happy Birthday!!” Porsche yelled way too loud, bounding into the room, holding some dumb helium balloons and a bouquet of gas station flowers.
“What?” Joanna answered groggily, waking with a start, disappointed that her dream had come to such an abrupt end.
“It’s your birthday, we’re gonna party like it’s your birthday,” Porsche sang. She had too much energy for the early hour of the day. Caught up in the haze of hospital life, she’d completely forgotten about her upcoming birthday.
“Please, Porsche, calm down. I feel like my head is going to explode,” Joanna groaned.
“Well let’s see what we can do about that. Cause we are having a party, and everyone’s coming, even that spicy Dr. Nathan of yours.” Porsche rang for the nurse.
Joanna’s friend really had gone above and beyond, as she’d set up a whole day’s worth of activities for her. Friends came by, her dad brought cake, they played games and watched movies. It was the most fun she’d had in weeks, months even, though the one person she was anxiously awaiting never came.
“Sorry he was a no-show,” Porsche said at the end of the day, once everyone else had left.
“It’s okay. I’ve heard he’s a bit of a playboy anyway,” Joanna confessed, plumping up her pillow again and leaning back.
“Wow, you’re here for a couple weeks and you already know all the hospital gossip! I love it. Well, playboy he may be, but it’s always fun to have a crush. Necessary I think, in order to get by in this world.”
Porsche stayed for another half hour, but eventually visiting hours ended, and she needed to go. Once she was alone, Joanna pulled out her phone, put in her earphones and let her mind travel back to her unforgettable dream. She’d never really thought about anyone the way she thought about Nathan, and the way her body was responding to even just a few words from him now and then was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. Despite her rational brain telling her to think of
other things, she couldn’t. Joanna was infatuated.
“Hey, you still awake?”
Joanna ripped out her earphones at the sound of his voice, and looked towards the door where Nathan was standing. He wasn’t wearing his white coat this time. Instead he looked like he came straight out of a GQ spread, light beard, hair coiffed, with a belt that matched his shoes. Sophisticated, but modern. Young, but classic.
“Yeah, I’m up.”
“Sorry I missed the celebrations,” he said, quietly coming into the room and closing the door behind him. “I had other plans I couldn’t get out of.” He sat down beside the bed, moving her balloons to the side and looking up at her. Neither of them said anything for a moment, before he finally looked away, self consciously. “Actually, I didn’t really have plans. I just went out with a few friends to our local dive. Honestly, I wasn’t sure that I should come to your birthday. But here I am, I guess. So much for behaving myself.”
Joanna had no idea what he was talking about, and it scared her. In a good way.
“What do you mean?” she asked, nervous and excited about what he might respond.
“I just mean that… fuck. I shouldn’t be saying this. But here we are. I like you, and I’m not sure I can trust myself around you. This, this is exactly what I wanted to avoid, but I… there’s just something about you Jo. Something about you that makes me want to know more.” He chuckled bashfully and looked away from her. Joanna’s heart soared. She didn’t care that he was drunk. He was saying exactly all the things she wanted to hear.
“I know what you mean. I uh… I don’t know. There’s so much I should say but I’m not sure I should,” she confessed.
“Oh I’ve made a mess of things now.” They both laughed, each saying so much with so little. “Did you know your eyes are two different colours sometimes?” he said, looking up at her intensely. She did, of course, and she knew that what he was saying sounded like a line, but it was all she could do to stop herself from reaching out to touch him.
They stayed up the whole night like that, talking and talking and talking. They shared so much about their lives with each other, connecting on their philosophies and commonalities. As the wee hours of the morning passed by, he opened up and that’s when he really started being honest with her, confessing his insecurities and worries about the future.
By the time the sun was up, it felt like they’d known each other all their lives.
“I should go. Gotta sneak out before Michaels’ sees me. It’s my day off today, but I’ll see you tomorrow, I promise. Sorry, I shouldn’t have kept you up all night but I just…”
“It’s okay, I know. Me too. Hey, I’m already in bed! I can sleep all day, and no one will tell me not to.”
“You’re right about that. Okay. Well night night then. Hey, happy birthday,” he said, finally getting up. He looked as though he wanted to kiss her, but thought better of it. So he didn’t. Walking backwards out of the room, he knocked the chair behind him a little, almost tripping and making Joanna laugh. It would go down in Joanna’s memory as one of the best birthday’s of her whole life.
And also one of the worst.
* * *
It wasn’t until a few minutes later that she felt her lungs seize up, the same way they had before she’d first been admitted into the hospital. She heaved, aching to get more oxygen into her lungs but she couldn’t. Something was stopping her, and she couldn’t tell what. There wasn’t enough air in her to call out, and as her throat started to close and the black dots hovered over her eyes, she looked down at her purple fingertips, and tried to reach for the emergency button.
Chapter 3
It had been two months since the incident when Nathan had accidentally disconnected her oxygen tube, tripping over it in exhaustion and part drunkenness. When the nurses found her, Joanna had passed out, and was told later she was lucky to have avoided brain damage.
Luckily, she recovered well, and was able to leave Mt Sinai a few days later, as expected. Nathan on the other hand had received a stern warning from Dr. Michaels, and almost lost his position at the hospital.
Worst of all, he’d been forbidden from seeing Joanna again.
Of course, nothing had happened between them, besides an admission of affection, but still, Nathan’s behavior had been declared an issue of serious misconduct. Joanna had wanted to stand up for him, but out of fear that she would simply make the situation worse, she kept quiet, resigning herself to likely never seeing Nathan again.
Unlike the rest of her time in the hospital, Joanna’s days of recovery after her discharge went by with an aching awareness of the passage of time. Joanna had been staying with her dad, still tethered to an oxygen tank as she fought off intense boredom. Compounding that boredom was the haunting feeling that part of her was missing, and it wasn’t her lungs. She missed Nathan, intensely, like she’d never missed anything or anyone before, besides her own mother, though that was a very different kind of loss.
“If I had my way, that man wouldn’t be a doctor anymore at all,” her dad would say, almost on a daily basis.
“The only reason I’m still around right now is because of him, dad,” she’d gently remind him, but that didn’t stop Dave from grumbling his way around the house whenever he remembered the young doctor’s costly mistake.
Joanna was embarrassed to admit it even to herself, but she ached for Nathan, despite, and perhaps because of, his playboy reputation. She suspected that he had carved quite a path with the nurses over the past few years, but never before had someone like him even looked at her twice. Most simply wrote her off as a goody-two-shoes. Time and time again, Nathan invaded her dreams, and she would wake up in a sweat, feeling herself yearning for his touch. To avoid the memory of Nathan completely taking over her life, she threw herself into her studies, making up for all the time she’d missed. Her head was clearer these days, and while she worked away to catch up on assignments during the day, Joanna focused on learning how to live, and thrive within her new reality at night. So little was known about her syndrome, and the only action she could take was to lead a healthy life, and pay attention to any developing symptoms. On the other hand, HPS was unpredictable. Despite consistent vigilance, there was every chance that the side effects could become ever more serious. She might live for another sixty years, or another ten, and there was no way of knowing. There was nothing she could do besides push those thoughts from her mind, and focus on what she could control.
By the time January rolled around, she had fully caught up with the rest of her classmates, thanks to a newfound sense of determination. Joanna credited Nathan with her ability to focus. He had been able to achieve so much in such a short time, and considering the way he’d saved her life, she wanted to make his efforts worthwhile.
Finally off the oxygen, Joanna moved out of her father’s house and started back at college. Remembering how normal her existence could be, she revelled in the freedom she had living in the dorm instead of being cooped up with her dad. Predictably, he’d been nervous to let her go back to living on campus, but Porsche promised to take care of her.
“Dave, I got you covered. I will make sure our Joanna takes all her meds on time, and has no fun at all,” Porsche said, hand on heart.
“Thank you. Promise me, no fun at all!” Dave said teasingly, messing up Joanna’s hair affectionately. Dutifully, Porsche did exactly the opposite, and took it upon herself to show her a good time, though Joanna remained faithful to her studies, and healthy living.
That is, until Joanna got a letter from Nathan, and her life was turned upside down all over again. Her hands shook as she tore open the envelope, heart beating quickly as she tried to read all the words on the crisp paper as quickly as possible. They’d both been so well behaved, avoiding any and all contact with one another despite their night of profound connection. This hand-written letter proved that he’d been thinking about her too, maybe just as much as she’d been thinking about him.
* * *
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Dear Joanna,
* * *
Please forgive this highly unprofessional note, but you’ve been on my mind ever since you left Mt Sinai. I promise that this will be my only, and last attempt to make contact with you, but I couldn’t go on without apologizing to you directly.
My actions last fall were appalling, and I have no excuse. While I do not for one moment regret getting to know you, I put your life in danger, and for that I will never forgive myself. I’m proud to report that I’ve done my best to change my ways since I last saw you. I never want to risk another patient’s life again simply because of my desire to numb the pain of my past and present.
I’ve been focusing on my work, and making some breakthroughs I believe. You’d be proud of me, I think.
I confess I still think of you daily, though I know I shouldn’t. As hard as I try to move on, that one night, your birthday, when we talked for hours, is constantly on my mind, though I know we barely know each other.
That’s the last I’ll say on that account, before I risk making you uncomfortable on top of everything else I’ve already put you through. As I said, I won’t try to contact you again, but if you ever need anything, I’m here for you. I owe you that much at least.
* * *
Yours,
* * *
Nathan Midas
* * *
Anxiously, Joanna read and reread the letter over and over again. It was almost everything she’d been dreaming of for the past few months. You weigh on my memory like a great love.
All her stubbornness about avoiding him, and applying herself to work instead, completely disappeared in that one moment. She needed to see him. Desperately, she tried to think of any way to get in contact with him, any way that didn’t include going through the hospital and risk getting him in trouble once more. Finally, she flipped the envelope around, looking at the return address. It wasn’t the hospital address, it was his home address. Despite everything, he’d left her this clue. Without thinking, Joanna grabbed her coat and got in her car. She had no plan, knowing only that she needed to see him. He was probably working, but she could wait. She’d wait as long as she needed to.